Rescuing others can mean that we want to rescue them in order to be loved in return . We believe that the ‘rescued’ will fill the void in us left by lack of self -love.
Caretaking ( as opposed to taking care of someone in a responsible and heathy manner) and rescuing others is a form of control. When we rescue someone, we actually want to change and fix them. We want their behaviours to change, so that in turn they can protect, rescue and love us.
Having a healthy need for love and connection is absolutely vital for a fulfilling life but unhealthy clinginess and dependence on others will lead to a constant emptiness that will never get filled.
Our rescuing behaviours and codependency patterns are usually there to fill the void left by lack of self love. The lack of self love is not just for our adult self but also for our younger parts that have been hurt and traumatised. There is guilt and shame around the trauma. Hence the unloved, hurt and wounded inner younger selves ( younger parts) are in a way, waiting to be loved and protected by someone as they weren’t protected by their caregivers. Who better than us to provide that protection and acceptance that they need from us?
Inner child healing and parts work can really help us to accept all of our parts.
I’ve often seen that healing trauma leaves us free to confidently look after ourselves without wanting to rescue others or be rescued by others.
Do you want to protect and rescue others because you were not protected as a child?
1. Find a part of you that feels like it needs protection or a part that feels hurt, wounded, abandoned by others.
2. Acknowledge how this part feels. Go deeper with EFT.
3. With tapping you’ll notice how your present codependent patterns are related to these hurt parts and how healing these parts will lead to change in your present codependent patterns.