How good are you at taking feedbacks?

One of the ways in which we hinder our emotional growth is by getting defensive when we receive feedback from well meaning people esp. those who really care about us.

When you receive a feedback, the obvious initial response is to feel embarrassed, ashamed or to recoil from it. You might get angry, hurt and upset. Any or all of these feelings can come up.

Usually when I receive a feedback, I take a deep breath. I tap for a few seconds. If it’s text then it’s easier to respond because I can take my time. If it’s in person, I still pause before responding. I ride the emotional wave and eventually it subsides and I get to discern what is true for me and what isn’t, how much of it needs to be taken seriously, what needs to be done etc. Sometimes it needs further clarification and discussion.

When you get defensive and let the emotions linger to the point that they become mood, you’ve lost an opportunity for real growth.

Gentle feedbacks are great but sometimes even critical feedback from acquaintances can have an opportunity of growth.

A week or so back, I received a rather abrupt feedback in a group I manage. It was sudden. I paused. Thought it over. Took the points that made sense and voiced my opinions about things that didn’t make sense. Despite my initial shock and a few seconds of increased heart rate, it felt good to take in the critical feedback. It was helpful to have someone point out a blind spot.

Try this. Pause after you get a feedback. Think, “It’s an opportunity to grow, might be good for me”. Ride the emotional wave ( tapping makes it easier) and then respond.

About Puja

I am a Counseling Psychologist, Certified EFT Practitioner & Accredited EFT master Trainer of Trainers with EFTi. In my 15+ years of experience, I have effectively used EFT and Counseling to help clients heal their emotional and physical problems.
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