The Missing Link to happiness: Gratitude

Have you felt ‘gratitude’ for something today?

We spend so much time thinking about what went wrong, what is going wrong, what will go wrong and what may have gone wrong
that we forget to be grateful for …
what has gone ‘right’, what is going right, what will be right and what may be right.

Problems become bigger than us and they dominate our lives. So much focus is on problems that gratitude for the many peaceful and happy moments in our life vanishes.

Everyone has something to be grateful for. It not about the WANTS that have been achieved or not but it is for the NEEDS that have been met.

How is Want different from Need?

Most of us have what we need – food, water, clothing, shelter etc.  We don’t have or strive for what we Want. For e.g. – We want  a ‘more‘ loving partner, a ‘better‘ paying job, a ‘smarter‘ child, a ‘bigger‘ house, a ‘slimmer‘ waist, a ‘fairer‘ skin, a  ‘fatter‘ bank account, a larger wardrobe…. the list is endless and the “ER ” is never ending.  We forget that all these ‘ERs’ follow something which is already there – the Need.
House = Need , Bigger House = Want
So the need has already been met,  its just the want for MORE that can never be met fully.

We crib for what we WANT and how we don’t have it. There is nothing wrong in wanting but there is something wrong in not acknowledging the needs that have been met and the wants that have been fulfilled.

So the question is –
Do you feel GRATEFUL for the NEEDS that are met and also the WANTS that have been fulfilled –


Being able to see, hear, breathe, walk, speak, remember, work?
The house above your head, the food that you eat, the water that you drink?
For all the small material things that make your life comfortable or luxurious?
For the close friends/ one close friend that you have?
For the people who take time to ask – how are you?
For the people who call you and talk to you?
For the love of your parents, siblings, spouse, children, relatives, friends, colleagues?
For the simple joy of a quiet serene moment in the day?
For the work that you did which was appreciated (even by one person)?
For having a tool like EFT to help yourself with?

Have you felt grateful lately … ???

Instead of recalling the problems from past, have you recalled lately – The moment of sheer happiness, however fleeting in your life, and felt happy?

These cherished moments are not to make you feel sad. They are to be Grateful for. We remember good times and say” oh … I don’t have it now.. so sad “. Well you have the memory. Be happy about it.

If you can feel sad for a bad memory then shouldn’t you feel happy for a happy memory and be grateful that you experienced it. How easy it is to be sad and how tough we make the feeling of happiness to be. As if it is some eternal state where no pain, suffering etc would exist – utopia. We forget that there is no “perfection” in life. There will be problems in life… its inevitable, but the pleasure of momentary happiness shouldn’t be forgotten.

The following Gratitude exercise will help you in this.

Tap on your KC and say – I feel grateful for the food, shelter, clothing that I have.
EB- I am grateful that I’m alive.
EC- I am grateful that my family/spouse/children/… love me (p.s – There will be someone who loves you)
UE- I am grateful for my talents (Name them – don’t have to be earth shattering!)
UN- I am grateful that I he/she asked me how I was doing.
Ch- I am grateful that I had a good night sleep/ a hearty breakfast/ a sumptuous meal/ a long walk/… (there are many things that you can add here)

Now remember all the good things that you did today and tap.

KC- I am happy that I exercised today.
EB- I am happy that I completed that pending assignment today.
EC- I am happy that I didn’t have pain in my back today.
UN – I am happy that I made a delicious meal today.
Ch- I am happy that I read that book /painted / wrote on my blog/ went to a movie/ enjoyed with my kids/ spouse/ colleagues/ friends/ went for a drive/ went to party/ meditated/ …
CB – I am grateful and happy today because … (fill in the blanks)
UA – I want to remember this gratitude always.

About Puja

I am a Counseling Psychologist, Certified EFT Practitioner & Accredited EFT master Trainer of Trainers with EFTi. In my 15+ years of experience, I have effectively used EFT and Counseling to help clients heal their emotional and physical problems.
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